New Beginnings

Well, this is my first blog post ever. I didn't really ever think I'd be doing something like this, but here I am. Journal writing is one of my resolutions for this year and I have learned that you get to know a person much more deeply from what they write, so I hope this blog will help my friends get a glimpse of who I really am.

It's 2010 now and I don't think I ever imagined my life this far; I don't think I imagined anything past high school. Of course, nothing really happened the way I imagined it, but it was nice to have some idea of what might be coming. Now I have no idea what to expect. It'll be a new and grand adventure....I hope. I look forward to this year and all the surprises and challenges it will bring.

My mom does this journaling class in the Relief Society in her ward and I decided to participate, even though I won't be here every time they meet together. This month's topic was "In 2010, I want to..." This is why entitled this post "New Beginnings." I plan to make a few changes and start something new and better. Here's what I wrote:

I've decided that I'm going to be more open minded. In reflection of the past year I have realized how many people I have overlooked or misjudged because I didn't look past my first impression of them. I have always felt that first impressions are important, but they're not everything and you can't always control the impressions you make on others. I need to learn to suspend judgment until I have really gotten to know someone. I hope those I come in contact with will be patient with me as I learn; I expect to make mistakes.

I've been so selfish this last year. Everything seemed to be about me and it really wasn't. Almost none of what happened really had anything to do with me. I let my judgment of others keep me from getting closer to the people I met. I've gotten so used to moving away and moving on that I forget that the people I met and befriended in each place are still there. When I go away to school, I'm not going away for good. I'll be back and my family and friends will still be in Kansas City. I can't just start over and forget they're there. I've made a big step in my decision to live with my roommates again in the Spring. Previously I preferred to just move to a new complex on different end of campus, using the excuse that I wanted to meet more people. The problem was that I was just meeting them. I didn't actually get to know them and see who they were as individuals. I want to be able to pass someone on campus and honestly be able to say that I KNOW them. I saw the movie "Avatar" this winter. The tagline for the movie is "I see you." It means that I see into you, that I understand you. That's what I want to do in 2010. I want to actually SEE the people I meet for who they are, not just know their names and a few facts about them. I might not know as many people by the end of the year, but I will actually know the people I will have met.