May 25, 2012

It´s been a good, but rough week. Hermana Olson and I are learning a lot together. We struggled last week really bad and work far below our potential as misionaries. I realized something really important about myself this week and we have improved so much. We still weren´t able to reach our goals, but there is a huge, notable difference in our efforts from the week before and this last week.

I realized that I before in my mission I more or less did things to get them done, please my companion (or at least to not create any more problems), or because I felt a lot of pressure to do them. Now that I´m the senior companion, I need to be the leader and example of how the work should be done (as far as diligence and obedience). I noticed that I need to do it now because I want to, and not just because I feel like I have to or just to be obedient.

Hermana Olson and I have spent a lot of time this last week studying and talking about what it is that we need to change and how we can improve. We have a lot of goals and we´re beginning to see a change in how we work and in our desires. I´ve reflected a lot about why I came on a mission, and it was more or less to be obedient. Now I feel, more than ever before, the need to want to do the work. I feel the desire growing and I´m so excited to see what my mission will be as I focus more on being what I want to become rather than waiting to become it. It´s about time, right? I´m only almost half-way through my mission.

We have some really great investigators right now, but they´re not progressing because they haven´t come to church. We don´t know why they´re having trouble with it because they´ve said the would come, even the night before, and then they just don´t show up. I´m thinking they´ve got some "icebergs" that we need to uncover and stop hacking at the little piece at the tip. Maybe we´ve been treating the sypmtoms rather than the sickness. We´ll be doing a lot praying and studying to find out how we can help them keep their commitments.

We have transfers next week and so I won´t be writing until Wednesday. I´m just praying that Hermana Olson will get a little more time together and have the chance to keep growing. Things are going better in our ward. The bishop asked us to speak in Sacrament meeting at the end of June. (I´ll guess we´ll see if we´re both still here). The topic is ¿Porqúe la misión? (Why the mission?) There are so many angles I could take on that. I´m looking forward to preparing the talk, whether I get to give it or not.

I love you all and I´m so grateful for the support and prayers you give to me.

Love,
Erin

The picture of me and Hermana Olson is from our latest zone conference. It was really good, but cold. There aren´t very many places here with central cooling or heating. In the summer we´re always hot and in the winter we´re always cold. We leave our coats on almost the entire day.

This week was really hard. The only goal we were able to complete was for contacts. We weren´t able to work on Monday or Tuesday. We worked really well on Wednesday, but lost a lot of our motivation after our weekly planning session on Thursday. We worked on making up what we lost Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, but weren´t able to reach our goals. We ended the week knowing we had worked below our potential and with a sense of urgency in the need to change and improve.

I´m learning a lot about the Atonement and how much we need it. I knew it before, but I don´t think I really understood our need to use it, not just in the big things, but in the little things that we need to change. I´m learning how much the little "sins" we commit can halt our progress and how big the difference is between applying the Gospel in our lives rather than just living it or going through the motions.

I read this week in Preach My Gospel about how our understanding of the Atonement directly affects our desire to share the Gospel. When I reflected on it I realized that it´s true. The Gospel consists of faith, repentance, baptism, the reception of the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end. If I´m not living it completely in my life, how can I (or even want to) teach it to others and expect them to apply it in their own lives. I want to be a better missionary, disciple of Christ, and daughter of God. I want to become more like Him and do what He would do. That process isn´t meant to be comfortable or easy, and I can´t let a little discomfort stop me from giving my all to Him.

I realized while Hermana Olson was talking to her family last night (she wasn´t able to last week) that I forgot to do share my testimony with you all. I didn´t want to leave you without it, so here it is. I know this is the true church. I know now, more than ever before, how true it is and how much of a blessing it is in my life. I have an increased urgency to live what I know and to keep my covenants because I know that is only through our faithfulness and the ordinances of the Priesthood that we can return to the presence of God. No amount of good intentions or belief in Christ will save us if we don´t embrace the Gospel fully, receive the blessings of Priesthood ordinances, and endure to the end. I pray that each of us can learn the nature of our relationship with God and strengthen it through faith and obedience. Nothing else will make us happier or be more worth our time and energy.

I love you all. You´re in my prayers every day.

Love, Erin

A short note from Buenos Aires

I´m doing well, mostly just trying to deal with all the stress of learning a new area, trying to build trust in the ward, and being senior companion. I have been blessed with a companion that helps me so much. I love her a lot. I attached a picture of her to this email. Hermana Carter will be posting some pictures soon on the mission blog (http://www.buenosaireswest.blogspot.com/) of our special training for the hermanas that we had today. It was really good, but not quite what I expected. What I did get out of it though, was the feeling of the necessity to live up to the potential I have as a missionary and what I should be doing that I´m not. I have a sense of urgency to be obedient and diligent that I didn´t have so much before. Our mission president really is an inspired man and called of God.

It’s unusually short today. We had almost no time to do anything today.

Love,

Erin

Eight Month Mark!

I´ve reached my eight month mark. It feels so weird to think that I´m almost half-way through my mission. It´s interesting to think about how far I´ve come and how far I still have to go in becoming the missionary I want to be. The last two weeks have been a bit stressful, but so good. I´m learning so much about what the true purpose of missionary work is and what I´m capable of doing and what I can achieve with God´s help.

I´m learning how easy it is to get caught up in the numbers, especially as senior companion, and not focus so much on the "why" of what we do every day. The key indicators help us to achieve our goals and fulfill our purpose, but aren´t in themselves the goal or the purpose. Our purpose is to invite others (everyone in this mission) to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored Gospel. Nobody can truly come unto Christ without receiving His Gospel which includes: faith, repentance, baptism by someone having the correct authority, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end. We can end the week having met each of the key indicators. We can be extremely busy every minute of every day. But, if we don´t understand our purpose clearly, we won´t ever see the fruits of our labors.

I´ve thought about how I would like to imagine myself at the end of my mission and what kind of missionary I want to be. I´ve also been thinking a lot about what I have to do now in order to become it. I want to be a power-house missionary full of love and void of fear. I´m not quite there yet, but I still have ten months to work on it. 

Hermana Olson and I get along really great. We work well together and I´m learning a lot from her. (We´ll take some photos this week and I´ll email them on Monday.) She has such a great desire to share the Gospel and always has a smile on her face. I don´t know if there´s a way to un-motivate her. She reminds me every day through her actions why this work is so important. I love her a lot. We have some really great investigators, too. I wish I had time to tell you all about them. I´ll work on saving some more time for next week.

I love you all!

Erin