I really think this delay is a blessing in disguise. I am so grateful for the extra time I have here at the MTC. I've already been able to see a difference in just one extra day so far. It's kind of like a second chance to do everything I wish I'd done in the MTC and be everything I wish I had been.
Devotional was phenomenal on Tuesday. People always say that they feel a message was meant just for them and it always seemed so cliche until now. On Monday, we had a workshop with Hermano Rosales about receiving revelation. He promised us that if we came up with a question for God that we really needed to know, we would receive an answer within the day. We spent pretty much the entire workshop in silence - pondering, praying, and receiving revelation. I had a different question at the beginning than I ended up with, but that just goes to show that God knows better than us what we need. He inspired me with a question, which was actually a question I've had for a really long time and have really struggled finding the answer.
By the time the workshop was over it was easy to tell that many of the other missionaries had received their answers. I hadn't, though, and wasn't sure if I had not been listening well enough, studied hard enough, etc. I'm easily distracted and was worried that I had not payed enough attention to the Spirit giving me my answer. I spent all of my personal study time on Tuesday looking for answers. By the time we had devotional I still hadn't figured it out. I was just praying that i'd be able to find my answer in something the speaker said that night.
Elder Craig Zwick came and taught about prayer. It was like no one else was in the room and he had prepared his talk with only me in mind. He gave me the direct answer to my question: How do I improve my relationship with God through prayer? My personal prayers have never been very personal. I've always struggled with knowing what to say or how to do it. I've never doubted that God loved me or that He knows me. I know who I am as a daughter of God and so I didn't think that was my problem. I just didn't know how to do it. Elder Zwick told me how, step-by-step.
It was an experience that taught me how very aware God is of me. He loves me so much and wants to hear from me so much that He would send one of His servants to tell me how. There was so much more that he said, but I think I'll be reading John 17 every day for a long time now. The Savior is the perfect example in everything, especially prayer. I want to be able to talk to my Father the way He talked to Him. It was a beautiful experience, one I will never forget.
I hope you all are aware of how much God loves you as His children. He knows you perfectly and is directing your life. I love you all and wish you the best. May God bless you as He has blessed me.
Hermana Erin Litster